March 2009 Archives

Porkgasm

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Since I'm a thinking man, it's only natural that America's public obsession with bacon would get my mind working - working on developing some sort of monstrous dish suitable not only for display on glutton blogs, but for true gustatory pleasure.  Needess to say, I have very little time for inedible novelties or anachronistic horrors.

I was inspired by the famous Bacon Explosion and this cute little guy, but they both seemed a bit unambitious.  And I'm a lot more ambitious than my semi-yearly blog updates might indicate...

Anyway, I started with a little bit of pork:

Pork.jpgYou might notice that there's no sausage in this picture.  That's because you can't buy sausage made out of...

pork2.jpg...bacon.  I'm not sure what a "pork jowl" is, but mixed with flesh in the right proportion, it made it through my grinder just fine. 

pork3.jpgI used this bacon base for a fairly typical country sausage - adding salt, pepper, thyme, and nutmeg to taste.

While waiting for Catherine to show up with some essential ingredients, I roasted the pork belly.  I'd never cooked pork belly before, but I'd seen this recipe recently, and thought it would be pretty good.

It was:

pork4.jpgNow I know how pork cracklings got their name - that skin is crunchy!


Anyway, I knew going into this thing that one variety of sausage wouldn't be enough.  And since I used bacon in the first one, I bet you'll be able to guess what went into the second...

pork5.jpg(it is that ham-shaped item in the bottom of the picture... I wish I'd actually had some ham that looked as good as the pile of fresh pork).

For contrast, I ground this sausage extra finely and added a ton of pimenton de vera, salt, pepper, and a puree of roasted pepper, hot pepper, and garlic.


Assembly time:

I started by laying a healthy layer of the country sausage on a piece of foil, and topping it with sliced pork belly...

pork6.jpg...then, I added some bacon and smoked sausage...

pork7.jpg...and rolled it up.  After that, we covered it with (you guessed it)...

pork8.jpg
...ham. 

Next, I added a layer of the peppery sausage...

pork9.jpg...and turned it over to Catherine and Casey for shaping and decoration:

pork10.jpg(the feet have sausages in them)

pork11.jpg
pork12.jpg
I didn't want the ears and tail to get all black and gross, so I took them out, and threw the pig in the smoker.  I don't have a scale, but I think it weighed close to 15 pounds...

pork13.jpgIt was finished in a couple of hours. 

pork14.jpgDon't touch!  That is not your meatpig, Christine...

pork15.jpgThe inside was just as realistic as the outside...

pork16.jpgMy guests were all total gluttons.  I even had two vegetarians and one person with a failing gall bladder try it out (they had half slices).  I was disappointed that no observant Jews or Muslims showed up, because I think they would have had to eat some too.  Most of us ended up with nightmares and stomachaches.  They were well-earned.  At the end of the night, there was only enough left for one little sandwich the next day.  I ate it for breakfast, on white bread, with barbecue sauce and ketchup.

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